New Tesla Roadster will fly/hover and set records in acceleration, braking, and cornering using cold gas thrusters; it will be the most badass vehicle ever.

Some amazing news today from Tesla. 1st of October, the new Tesla Roadster will launch in more ways than one. The official Tesla account today posting the caption "and go for launch", the teaser image, and the official date.

If you head to tesla.com/roadster, you can see a countdown, 18 days, 20 hours, 11 minutes, and 33 seconds as I'm recording this.

We are almost certainly looking at the rear of the new Tesla Roadster and four cold gas thrusters for absolutely insane physics-breaking acceleration.

Now, unless Tesla has taken some extreme artistic license here, it seems almost certain this is the rear tail of the vehicle positioned above four cold gas thrusters which are angled upward at least based on the way that this image looks, which will force the vehicle to hug the ground.

The question then becomes, will this vehicle be able to fly? The answer is obviously yes, which means there'll obviously be more than the four rear cold gas thrusters. High probability this might actually gimbal which would be insane.

But, in terms of safety, if you're going to do this and probably accelerate from zero to 60 miles an hour in about a second flat with assistance from the cold gas thrusters, you need them to be pressing the vehicle into the ground a little bit for traction, otherwise big problem.

This is the biggest and most obvious hint that this thing, this actual vehicle, will at least temporarily be able to fly. So, is the new Tesla Roadster going to be able to fly, at least temporarily? Absa-fucking-lutely, yes.

I'm interested to see though, road legality of these cold gas thrusters, but guaranteed the primary purpose of this is to get the 0 to 60 time down to an impossibly quick number.

As in, a 0 to 60 time that's literally impossible to achieve in a vehicle by traditional means, meaning tires. I strongly suspect Tesla's engineers will have been looking, aiming for a sub-1-second 0 to 60 time cuz it's just the biggest bragging right of all time, about twice as quick as the world's fastest vehicles today.

Presumably, it's the exact same image, but those cold gas thrusters almost looks like there's stars in the background. Looking more closely at this, we're almost certainly looking at a rear spoiler of sorts.

Whatever the [ __ ] this thing is called, but this thing is for sure flying in this shot. I won't go as far as to speculate they're literally going to send one of these into orbit at the launch event, but we are absa-fucking-lutely going to see a flying {slash} temporary hovering demo, no doubt.

If you understand even basic physics, you'll realize that there can't possibly just be the four cold gas thrusters. Otherwise, all this vehicle be able to do is [laughter] go zero to 60 faster than any other vehicle in history by far, probably half the time.

But, it won't be able to fly, at least not safely.

Meaning, there has to be at least at a minimum four additional thrusters, one on each corner, front left, rear left, front right, rear right.

That way, whether they gimbal or not, presumably they would, we can have some upward thrust, meaning the thrusters are pointing down, pushing the vehicle up to slow its descent for a gentler landing.

This is also likely to mean the vehicle could just hover vertically or take off vertically, and also do long hops if you have the rear thrusters as well as underneath at the same time.

They're going to propel the vehicle forward to be long hop.

But, there's another interesting feature. If you do, which at this point I'm going to put on the record, that absolutely will have at least four additional thrusters, maybe six, maybe one in the middle there as well, which would be a total of 10, 4 + 6.

It's going to be 8 to 10 thrusters, almost certainly.

Another interesting possibility or feature is that these thrusters, which again are pointed upwards, which creates a downward force. They're pressing the vehicle both forward, but also downwards, having it stick to the ground.

You could actually use this to increase traction and therefore handling and therefore the ability and the speed at which you can take corners. But, wait, there's more. If potentially the underbody thrusters also gimbal, and these could also be used to do some truly absurd things about handling corners at just unbelievably brain dead speeds.

Imagine you're coming this way. You got a real sharp corner to take. What a beautiful corner. And here you are driving like a [ __ ] in the Roadster at absurdly fast speed into the corner.

However, if you have these cold gas thrusters and they gimbal, got at least one on either side of the front and the rear if not ones in the middle as well. You could blast cold gas out as you're taking a corner this way, the result of which is going to push the vehicle back into and around the corner,

meaning it might be possible with these additional cold gas thrusters, not those on the rear just providing the actual acceleration and speed, but also some traction because they're pointed upward meaning some downward force, but also potentially for absolutely insane cornering.

You could also utilize these thrusters. We might be able to see Tesla's Roadster not just accelerate faster than any vehicle in history, but take corners much faster than any vehicle in history.

And oh yeah, also by the way, it can fly / hover. This is going to be batshit insane. Now, one additional thing obviously you're thinking, well, if you can take corners quicker as well, let's say we have a thruster here, a thruster here, thruster here, thruster here, and here and here.

Beautiful thrusters. If they gimbal, meaning they could point and turn, what's to stop these also being used for braking?

Simply shoot some cold gas this direction, which again is going to cause force back this way, which is going to dramatically slow the vehicle. This might be the fastest accelerating, fastest braking, fastest cornering, and only flying car in the history of humanity.

In fact, I'm going to say all of these things are going to be true. This isn't just going to be 0 to 60 time faster than you've ever seen, and it flies. It's also going to be flying around corners, not literally, but at record speed.

And braking faster than any vehicle in history thanks to the cold gas thrusters.

This thing is going to be bonkers. The demo, the launch, is going to be crazy. My main question now is, will human beings, a typical human, be able to handle, pun intended, handle the insane acceleration and deceleration this vehicle will be capable of?

So, those are my my Yes, it's going to fly / hover. Yes, it's going to accelerate faster than any vehicle in history by far, probably about half the time, roughly a second, give or take, might be a tiny bit over, might be a tiny bit under.

I'm sure they wanted to get under, but I mean, physics is the law, so we'll see.

It's also going to take corners faster than any vehicle, brake faster than any vehicle, and also break the [ __ ] internet.

Now, in case you guys forgot, many years ago, we did get a peek at the Tesla Roadster. We haven't seen anything since, but this is what it looked like last time we actually saw the vehicle.

Clearly, a few things have changed, including the location of the cold gas thrusters, which in the original video appear to have been a little bit lower where the license plate was.

Looked like a little drop-down panel or something along those lines.

I can't wait to see the final product. This is going to be an epic event that will draw a huge amount of attention to Tesla's other products, and it's going to be the most badass vehicle of all time, hands down.

Let me know in the comments below if any of you will be buying one. And do you think I should? My new 20-year Tesla and SpaceX valuation model is now also live on Patreon to supporters at the investor level and above.